At the beginning of a relationship, things always seem perfect. Of course at first, you noticed the attractive qualities that you liked best about your backpage boyfriend or girlfriend. So you ask yourself, can your relationship really stand the test of time? The following are six factors that can make or break a relationship:
1) The Backpage Communication Factor
You are doomed to failure from the start if you and your boyfriend or girlfriend cannot communicate effectively. Communication not only involves the ability to carry a conversation and indicate how you feel, but it also encompasses honest and trust. Keeping secrets and telling lies are communication flaws. Put yourself out there completely and be honest about yourself. If you misrepresent yourself to somebody who is falling in love with you, they’re not falling in love with the real you.
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2) The Attraction Factor
Attraction is a key element to a lasting relationship. If you are not attracted to your partner, eventually you’ll get bored. For a relationship to last, you have to like the person, love the person, and be in love with the person. These are all elements of attraction on a friendship level and an intimate level.
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3) The Non-Annoying Factor
Is there anything about your boyfriend or girlfriend that really drives you crazy? It could be a smoking habit, a messy car, or their best friend that you just can’t stand. Do not expect your lover to change their ways. These annoying things will only go away if you can let go of them and decide they do not bother you anymore. Otherwise, they’ll likely continue to keep annoying you and you will also discover other annoying traits.
4) The Something In Common Factor
It’s definitely possible to fall hard and fast for somebody completely different from you. Maybe you have different ideas about politics, religion, or raising children. If so, you have to consider if these things are deal-breakers that will eventually drive you apart.
Also, talk about your personal goals early in the relationship. If your boyfriend wants to move to India next year, will you be expected to go along? If your girlfriend wants to be a lifelong volunteer, will you be expected to bankroll her quest? After the initial newness of a relationship wears off in a few months, you will be left to enjoying each other’s company. This does not mean you will have a boring relationship. But, if you don’t have enough in common, eventually spending time together won’t be fun. Also, do you have similar enough schedules that warrant spending free time together. If you work nights and she works days, will you ever be able enough time together?
5) The Backpage Trust Factor
Along with communication, trust is so important. Initially, trust is about honesty. When you relay details from your past, tell the complete truth. If you tell a lie, down the line your boyfriend or girlfriend will hear the real dirt from your parents, friends, or the actual source of the lie. Don’t give yourself a better GPA, less former girlfriends, or a higher salary. You can’t keep these secrets forever. Inevitably if you lie, somebody will get hurt, and permanent damage will occur to your relationship.
6) The Happiness Factor
After you’ve decided if as a couple, you communicate well, are attracted to each other, don’t annoy each other too much, have something in common, and trust each other, it’s time to evaluate whether you are really happy? Is there something you’re keeping to yourself? If you are happy, proceed with confidence. If you are not happy, it’s either because you’re lying to yourself about one of the other five factors, or you just shouldn’t be in a relationship right now. Timing is a factor many people don’t think about initially. You may have just met the backpage girl of your dreams, but if you are rebounding from a bad breakup, you won’t be able at that time to pull your weight emotionally.